working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
