dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
where are my eyebrows?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
