i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I bet he comes in French.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
