Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
