the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
