Cold hands, warm shart.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
