You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
