I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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