He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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