Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
