Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm too high and old for this...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
