first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
