Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
