remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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