So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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