You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
