yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
