Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
