I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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