Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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