But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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