if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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