Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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