He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
