to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
