This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
