your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
