And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
