I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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