What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
