There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dick very happy bro
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
