so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Randomize
