Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
