She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
