Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
