shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
