You really coming over, don't trick.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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