Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
