The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
