garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
