Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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