yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
