You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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