Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
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