you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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