just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
