i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
