Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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