Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
