I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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